Once Michelle walked into her room, she sat down on the chair and proceeded to unzip her boots. As much as her body was telling her that she wanted this, that she needed this, she knew emotionally this was not what she wanted. Wade was the only man she had ever been with, and if truth be told, he was the only one she wanted to be with. 

Sighing heavily, she tossed her boot on the floor with the other one. She hated the fact that she felt so empty, so numb that she was actually going to allow Justin to try to fill the void she felt inside. Granted that wasn't the only reason she walked upstairs to her room, but she knew that if she didn't want to do anything, Justin wouldn't force the issue. It was almost as if she was using him and she felt bad.

Laughing to herself, she realized that more than likely Justin thought her and Wade were still together and he obviously didn't feel bad for what he was going to do so why should she. She just needed to let Justin satisfy his purpose for the evening and deal with the rest tomorrow.

Just as she was getting out of the chair, Justin walked into the room and she knew there was no turning back now.

Without saying another word, Justin pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor next to the bed. He didn't want to waste any more time. It was bad enough that he had to endure the last 10 minutes straining himself against the confines of his jeans. He had been given the green light to proceed and he wasn't about to wait one minute longer to get what he came here for. 

Walking towards her, Justin licked his lips and knew that he was going to enjoy every moment with her. Never before had a girl had such an effect on him that the mere idea of what was going to happen was almost as good as the real thing.

Once she was within arms reach, he took a hold of her shirt and pulled her closer. The sound of her breathing, heavy with anticipation, excited him more than he thought possible and he quickly slid his hand up her back and entwined his hand in the long curls of her hair. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he leaned in and gently kissed along her jaw line.

Shutting her eyes, she tried her best to keep the flood of emotions and fears at bay so that she would be able to go through with this. She knew if she looked into his eyes, the reality of what she was doing would hit her full force and she would stop. Regardless of the fact that her body was practically begging for this to happen.

Leaning back slightly, he made his way to her mouth and began to kiss her. Softly at first, then growing more lust driven as he felt her fingers work their way across the ridges of his abs. 

Feeling him harden against her, she continued her path down his stomach to the top of his jeans, lightly grazing his skin with her nails. Sliding her fingers inside the waistband, she unbuttoned his jeans and felt his grip tighten in her hair. Quickly he removed his hand from around her waist and pulled her hand away.

"Girl, if you don't stop, I'm gonna be finished before we even start."

Slighty amused by the effect she was having on him, she chuckled. She wasn't sure why she liked the fact that she did that to him...but she did

"Oh, you think it's funny do ya." he said, as he quickly removed his hand from her hair and threw her over his shoulder.

Completely caught off guard, her giggles quickly turned quiet as he tossed her down on the bed and crawled on top of her pinning both of her hands above her head with one of his. 

"Hmmm, not so funny now is it." he said, as he slid his hand inside her already unfastened jeans. Gasping at the feel of him, she bit her lip and tried to keep her wits about her as he slid his hand down further. 

"You like teasing?" he asked, as he worked her body into a frenzy. 

"Justin..." she started to say, but he quickly covered her mouth with his, kissing her passionately and picking up the pace. As soft moans begun to escape her, he knew he was only torturing himself. As much as he was enjoying her melting in his hands, he knew that the best was yet to come. 

Removing his hands from her, he grabbed a hold of her jeans and quickly pulled them off. Throwing them on the floor, he kissed a path up her thigh, over the thin strap of her thong and to the base of her stomach before finally stopping.

Laughing, he got off the bed and walked over to the chair.

"What are you doing?" she asked, as she sat up and looked at him questiongly.

"Damn girl, gimme a minute. I still have my shoes on. A bit desperate, don't ya think." he laughed, taking a seat in the chair.

"Oh." she said, embarassed by the fact that he was now completely aware of how bad she wanted him. 

Sliding off his shoes, he tossed them on the floor next to her boots and stood back up. 

Walking back over to the bed, he saw this hurt look on her face and he wondered if maybe she took what he said the wrong way.

"Hey, I'm just playing with you." he said, walking towards the bed. He had never meant for her to take his comment as anything more than a joke.

Not saying anything, she realized that there was some truth to what he said. She was desperate. Desperate to find any way possible to put Wade out of her mind. Desperate to replace the way Wade made her feel with the way Justin wanted to make her feel. It wasn't fair to either of them and she knew that she couldn't go through with it.

"Come here." Justin said, extending his hand to her.

Not offering her hand to him, she gazed up and realized she now had to inform Justin that this wasn't going to happen.

"Justin, I'm sorry....." she began to say, but he quickly interupted her.

"No, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean anything by the comment. I was just playing around. You just looked so cute standing there, your face all flushed." he said, reaching out to stroke her cheek, although he wasn't sure why.

God, she felt terrible. She had led him to believe that things were gonna happen between them and although that was the case only moments ago...things had changed.

"No, I mean...I'm sorry....but I can't do this. I know that doesn't make any sense considering that just a few minutes ago I wanted it more than anything, but your comment held more meaning to me than you meant it to."

Confused, Justin stood there half clothed and wonder what the hell had happened. How could one comment taken out of text put such an abrupt and untimely stop to something that was certain to be absoultely amazing.

"It doesn't make sense. I know for a fact that you wanted me as much as I wanted you." he said, sitting down on the bed next to her. 

Sighing heavily, she got off of the bed and walked around to the other side. Bending down, she picked up his t-shirt and handed it to him.

"I'm sorry Justin, I really am, but you have to leave."

Taking the shirt from her, he stood up and walked over to grab his shoes. He wasn't sure exactly what happened to make her change her mind, but he knew that he wasn't going to find out either. Atleast not tonight.

Without saying another word, he headed out her bedroom door and down the stairs. He knew that it would take atleast 10 minutes for his security to pick him up and he worried that if he stayed around much longer, he was going to insist that she tell him what happened.

After a few minutes, Michelle walked back down the stairs and over to where Justin was sitting on the sofa.

"Security is on their way. They should be here in a few minutes, but if you want, I can wait outside." he said, standing up.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she stood there completely lost in her own thoughts.

"Ok, I take that as a yes." Justin said, turning to head towards the door.

"No, your fine. Stay." she said reaching out and grabbing a hold of his arm.

Turning around, he stared at her hoping that she would open up to him and tell him exactly what it was that caused her to pull away from him like that, but she didn't. 

After a few moments of silence, there was a knock on the door.

"That must be them. I guess that was a quick few minutes huh." he said joking, hoping to atleast see the slight glimpse of a smile.

When his comment went by the wayside, he simply leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"You have my number if you want to talk."

Nodding her head, she watched him walk out the door.

CHAPTER 57

The second Justin got in the truck, his security instantly noticed that something was wrong. Normally when they picked Justin up from one of his escapades, he was wearing a smile that stretched from ear to ear. This time there wasn't a smile, but in it's place a look of concern.

"Hey man, is everything alright?"

Not sure exactly what to say, he simply waved that he didn't want to get into it and told them to take him back to the club to get his car. Knowing their boundries, they did as they were told, instantly dropping the subject.

After about 15 minutes, they pulled back up at the club and dropped Justin off at his car. He was so confused with what had happened, that he didn't even bother to say goodbye. He simply got in his car and drove away.

When Justin finally pulled up to his house, he noticed a few cars in the parking lot. No doubt friends of Trace's here to party.

Shoving his keys in pocket, he opened the door and headed straight upstairs. He was in no mood to play host to anyone. The night already had enough surprises for him.

As he walked up the stairs, Trace caught sight of him and yelled out.

"Hey man. Back so soon." he snickered, hoping that he was right about Michelle and that she told him to fuck off.

Stopping briefly on the stairs, Justin shot Trace a look that told him he would regret it if he made another comment referencing Michelle. Seeing the seriousness on Justin's face, Trace excused himself from his guests and headed for the stairs.

"Man, I'm not in the mood. Just go back in there." Justin said coldly, before continuing up the stairs to his room.

"Dude, you don't walk in the house looking like you do expect me not to ask what's up. What happened?"

Shaking his head, Justin continued down the hall to his bedroom completely ignoring the question from Trace who was now following his every move. He was hoping to get past Trace and make it to his room without being noticed. He knew that Trace would know something was off, and being the friend he was, Trace wouldn't let up until he got to the bottom of it.

"Look, I just don't wanna talk about it. Especially with you."

"Man, that isn't cool." Trace said, as he followed Justin into his room. "What happened to us being able to talk about anything."

Justin knew that he could always go to Trace if he was having a problem, but he wasn't sure what to say even if he did want to talk about it. After all, he wasn't quite sure what happened himself. All he knew was that at one point in the evening they both wanted it, then the next thing he knew....she didn't. It obviously had something to do with his comment but he couldn't figure out how she had taken it that would make her completely change her mind.

"Ok...so...does this have anything to do with Michelle?"

Instantly, Justin turned around to face Trace.

"I'm not gonna preach...I swear dude. I just wanna know what happened."

"Man, I don't fuckin know." Justin said walking across the room. "I ended up driving her home and...well things heated up and I know she wanted me as much as I wanted her.....and don't even give me that look or I swear to god this conversation is over."

"What? I'm just standing here." Trace said, as he studied the look on Justin's face. "Ok, so you guys...hooked up then. What's the problem. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"See, the thing is, we didn't hook up. I mean we were about to, well on our way in fact, when she changed her mind."

"Dude.....she DOES have a boyfriend. I think you remember him, right? His name is Wade." he laughed, but then quickly stopped when he saw the look on Justin's face.

"See man, I don't even know why I said anything."

"I'm sorry. Ok? I am. So...what made her change her mind?"

"See, that's just it. I don't know. When I got off the bed to take my shoes off, she looked at me like I was going to just leave. So I told her to relax and said she was a bit desperate. Jokingly of course, you know how I am. She just looked so cute, worried I was gonna leave her without taking care of business."

"And?"

"And.....she just got really hurt by the comment I guess and said she couldn't go through with it. I know there was more to it, but she wasn't about to tell me."

"I don't know what to tell ya dude. Just let it go."

"No, I can't let it go." Justin said pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Uh....J. What the hell are you doing?"

"Calling her. I wanna make sure she's alright."

"Dude, let it go! Why do you feel the need to get involved? You know, you trying to get in her pants may have been the problem."

"Whatever, you obviously didn't listen to a word I just said, so just go back downstairs." Justin said, as he walked over to his door.

"You know what, you need to take a good look in the mirror and look at how your acting dude. I mean....you calling to see if she is alright? What the hell is that all about?"

"Goodnight." Justin said sternly, making it crystal clear to Trace that he was finished having this conversation. He wasn't sure what Trace was implying, but regardless, he didn't like the tone of his voice. He knew he never should have said anything to him about the night with Michelle in the first place, but it was too late now to go back.

Before turning to walk out the door, Trace studied the look on Justin's face and noticed something. His comment has triggered something in Justin's mind. He wasn't sure what, but he could definetly tell that what he said had him thinking. That in itself had Trace intrigued, but he would let it go for now.

Once Trace walked out of his room, Justin shut the door and sat down on the edge of his bed. Shaking his head, he tried to forget about Trace's comment. He wasn't acting any different. Hell, if it was Britney, he would have done the same thing. He just wanted to make sure she was ok. What was wrong with that.

"What the fuck am I thinking. If it was Brit. She's not Brit." Justin said, confused by the things running through his mind. "Trace is right. Why the hell do I care if she's ok. She's not my girlfriend, she's Wade's. Let him deal with her problems. My only problem now is getting another chance with her. That's where my focus should be."

Getting up, he sat his phone down on the dresser and headed into the shower. All he wanted to do was just wash away the tonight's failure and work on his new game plan for tomorrow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Justin had walked out the door, Michelle broke down. She knew in her heart that Wade was the only one that she wanted to be with, yet she allowed Justin to get close to her. Why?

Crying, she walked back upstairs and over to her closet to grab a jacket. She just needed to get some fresh air and get out of her apartment. Even though she was the one who left Wade, she couldn't help but feel that she had betrayed him. He had never once been unfaithful to her and here she was, one day after things had ended between them practically giving herself to Justin. Justin, of all people. What the hell was she doing.

Throwing the jacket on, she walked downstairs to grab her keys from the table where Justin had laid them earlier. She knew there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep now. There were just too many things rushing through her mind.

Locking her door, she pulled it closed and headed down the stairs to her car. She wasn't sure where she was going to go, but at this point, anywhere away from her apartment was fine with her.

Just as she was about to unlock her car door, a car pulled up behind hers. She covered her eyes from the bright light of the headlights and tried to make out who it was, but with all the glare, she couldn't see. Under normal circumstances, she would have just gotten inside her car for safety reasons, but with her current state of mind, she just didn't care. After a second or two, the lights turned off along with the car's engine. As she was standing there waiting for whoever or whatever was about to happen, the drivers side door opened.

"Hey, you talking to me yet?" Marty said, as he got out and shut his door.

With a sigh of relief, she shoved her keys in her pants pocket and walked towards him. "Yeah, but I really don't think I'll make good company right now."

"Where you headed?"

"I don't know. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not here." she said, as she wiped a tear off her cheek. 

Sighing heavily, he wrapped him arm around her. "You know, I told you that I'm here if you wanna talk."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well then, let's go." he said, walking her around to the other side of the car.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not here." he replied laughing, as he opened the passenger side door. Once she was inside, he shut the door and walked back around the car.

Feeling a small smile grace her lips, she was thankful that Marty was in her life. If it wasn't for him, she wasn't sure how she'd get through all this.

CHAPTER 58

Pulling up at a small all night coffee shop, Michelle and Marty went inside and spent the next two hours just talking. Casual conversation at first, but she knew that eventually Marty would bring the topic of Wade. It was the one thing she knew he wanted to discuss.

"So, why the late night trip out?" Marty asked, as he sipped his coffee.

"I needed some fresh air. That apartment just makes me feel so trapped anymore. Like I'm suffocating."

Looking up from his cup, he studied the look on Michelle's face and knew now was as good a time as any. She had just given him what he needed to bring up Wade.

"Do you feel trapped there because of Wade?"

Glancing out the window, she sighed heavily. She knew that was part of the reason she felt trapped, but it wasn't the only reason. So many things flooded her mind when she was there. It was as if she was standing in the middle of the room and everyone was waiting for her to make a move. So many people had expected her to be a certain way. Unfortunetly, she didn't seem to be meeting any of their expectations.

"Yeah a little, but you know, I'm just not so sure LA is right for me anymore." she said, turning back towards him.

"What do you mean? I thought you loved LA?"

"Yeah I did at first, but things have changed. I've changed." she said, tracing her finger along the rim of her cup.

Looking at her, he could tell the whole 'LA isn't for me' routine was a direct result of Wade's behavior. He knew for a fact that before him and his bullshit, she loved LA. She even told him after one of their classes.

Sitting his cup down on the table, he leaned back.

"Don't let him ruin this for you. Break it off with him and move on. LA has alot to offer you. I mean look at you. Your doing the choreography for Justin's tour. You know how many people would kill for that job?"

The second he mentioned Justin, she felt sick to her stomach. 

"Yeah, lucky me." she mumbled, as she leaned forward and rested her head on her hands.

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

"Marty....the night before Wade left for NY.....we broke up. Well actually, when he was sleeping, I walked out. All I left him was a note." she said, crying into her hands.

Marty sat there for a minute in shock, not sure of what to say. He had wanted her to leave Wade for awhile, he just never thought she would actually get the courage to do it. Standing up, he moved around the end of the table and sat down in the booth beside her.

"Are you ok?" he asked, turning to face her.

"No, I'm not." she said, moving her hands from her face to grab a napkin. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she again looked out the window.

Marty's heart was breaking.  It was obvious to him that her tears weren't from the fear of his backlash. They were tears from a broken heart. Despite all he had done to her, she still loved him.

Glancing around the coffee shop, he could tell that a few people were starting to listen in on their conversation. 

"Hey, you wanna get out of here and go somewhere private and talk?"

"Honestly Marty, I just really want to go home right now. I know earlier I didn't want to be there, but I just....." 

"What?" he asked, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I just know it's wrong, but I miss him." she said, as she leaned against his shoulder and began to cry.

Marty shut his eyes and felt his heart break. He just couldn't understand how Wade could do this to her. He had known Wade for a few years and would have never imagine he was capable of such things.. 

"Hey, c'mon. I'll take you home. We can finish this conversation tomorrow if you want."

Nodding in agreement, Michelle grabbed her jacket from behind her and slid out of the booth. Once she was standing beside him, Marty pulled out his wallet and threw a few bucks down on the table.

"Let's get out of here." he said, wrapping his arm around her. He knew that this break up was only the beginning of what was sure to be a mess. Besides the fact that you couldn't consider the break-up necessarily mutual, the two were still scheduled to be working together. He could only image how that would turn out.

Once they got back to the car, Michelle completely broke down. She finally had the guts to openly admit to herself that she missed Wade and she didn't know what she was gonna do. 

"Hey, don't cry. Things will get better, I promise they will. You just have to give it time. I mean the relationship was intense if nothing else. That is gonna have an effect on you."

"It's just not right. I mean even after all the shit he put me though, I can't stop thinking about him. What's wrong with me." she cried frantically.

Marty sat there speechless. He wasn't quite sure what to say. If the situation was reversed and someone had hurt him, he wouldn't waste a single second thinking about them. 

"I mean, I still fuckin love him Marty. How can that be?!  How can I sit here and allow myself to second guess leaving him!"

"Hey, don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life. Michelle, look at yourself. You have marks all over you from him. If he loved you the way you seem to love him....he wouldn't do that."

"He wasn't always like this Marty." she said softly.

"Well all I know is that he's like this now, and that's not someone you want to have in your life."

Leaning her head back against the headrest, she continued to cry. She knew Marty was right, but that didn't change the fact that her heart missed him. 

After starting the car, Marty reached over and placed his hand over hers.

"You'll get through this. I told you before that I am here if you need me and I mean it. Don't hesitate to call me, even if your just looking for a shoulder to cry on. I'll be here."

Wiping her eyes, she turned to face him. "Thanks Marty."

As much as Marty wanted to believe that things were over between Wade and Michelle, he couldn't shake the feeling that if Wade turned on the charm when he returned from NY, Michelle would take him back. That thought right there worried the hell out of him. He never would have thought Wade was capable of doing the things he had done to Michelle, but he had. If she took him back, there was no telling what danger she would be putting herself in and he wasn't about to find out. One way or another, he was determined to keep Wade from working his way back into her life. That's all there was to it.

Once they pulled up to her apartment, Marty turned to face her.

"Look, I know right now you have alot on your mind. I can almost guarantee that one thing running through your mind is you rethinking your decision to break things off with Wade, but trust me, don't.  I mean, I don't wanna sit here and tell you how to live your life, but I'm afraid that if you do take him back......you might not get another chance to leave."

Michelle sat there for a second and let the seriousness of his comment sink in before she reached for the door handle.

"Trust me Marty, I know first hand what he is capable of. I won't make any decision without thoroughly thinking it through. I can promise you that."

"Michelle...I'm serious. Please don't do it. Don't let him back in your life"

"I can't guarantee that Marty and I'd be lying if I said otherwise."

"You know, I stood by once while this shit happened. I won't do it again. I can guarantee you that."

"You know what, it's been a long night. Can we just continue this another time. I just want to go to bed." 

"We don't have to continue it at all. I'm just telling you."

"I know you're only looking out for me Marty, I'm sorry. It's just been a long night."

"Do you want me to walk you up?"

"No, it's ok. I'll talk to you later. Thanks again for the coffee." she said, as she got out and shut the door. 

Walking up the stairs to her apartment, she prayed that tomorrow would be better. At this point, that thought was the only thing keeping her going.

CHAPTER 59

As the sunlight poured through her bedroom window, Michelle opened her eyes and saw someone standing over her. Startled, she slid back against the headboard and rubbed her eyes hoping to clear her vision enough to see who was standing before her.

"Wade, what are you doing here?" she finally asked, shielding the sunlight from her eyes with her hand.

"After I got to NY, I realized that I should have never left with things the way they were. So, after I squared a few things away, I caught the first flight back to LA. Now, I wish I would have never come back."

Throwing the covers off to the side, she lowered her feet to the floor and stood up.

"What do you mean you wish you would have never come back?"

"I got back in town around 11:30 last night. After I dropped my bags off at the house, I drove over here." he said, as he walked around her bed and over to the window. Reaching up, he grabbed a hold of the curtains and pulled them closed.

Thankful that the light was now out of her eyes, she sat back down on the edge of the bed and looked up at him. Desperately she fought with eveything she had to keep herself from standing back up and wrapping her arms around him. Just seeing him again, made her heart do flip flops. He had that much of an effect on her. 

"When I got here though, you weren't home. I wasn't sure were you might have gone, so I simply went back home to grab something to eat. When I was done, I came back over here to wait for you."

Slowly, she started putting two and two together. 

"So, you did come back here last night?" she asked, watching him toss his keys on the nightstand next to her bed.

Rubbing his fingertips against his temples, he tried to keep himself together.

"Yeah, I came back here, but I obvioulsy wasn't the only one. Was I?" 

Immeadiately, Michelle realized that Wade had been completely aware of her visitor. That visitor in question being Justin.

"I can explain." Michelle said, slowly scooting back on the bed. Wade had yet to raise his voice or his hand to her, but she wasn't about to take any chances. Not with his track record.

"You don't need to explain anything. I know everything I need to know." he said, as he started to pace the room.

"You know what, maybe you should just go. I don't think this is a good time to be having this conversation." she said, quickly getting off of the bed and heading towards the door.

"No. I don't think so." he said, grabbing a hold of her arm and stopping her dead in her tracks. "I fuckin blew off the video shoot to come back here and try to work things out with you and what do I find?! That fuckin prick Justin leaving your apartment! What the fuck?!"

"Wade, you..."

"No! Don't even try it or I swear to god!" Wade said, pulling her back to him. "Was he good? Huh? Did he fuck you like I fucked you?" 

Short of breath from the fear that was running through her body, she simply stared at him with tears in her eyes. She didn't know why this was happening. Why did things always have to be this way between them. 

"Aww c'mon baby. What's wrong, you don't want to share details?" he yelled, shoving her backwards onto the bed.

"Nothing happened!" she yelled, scrambling to get to the other side of the bed. "I swear Wade, please believe me!"

"Yeah, I'm susposed to believe that huh?" he snickered, running his fingers through his hair and watching her panic on the other side of the bed. "What about Marty picking you up shortly after he left? Huh? Your nothing but a lying whore! Christ, you should have just invited Marty up to join in. Would've saved yourself alot of hassle. I don't know what the fuck I ever saw in you!" 

"Wade, please! I didn't cheat on you! I would never do something like that!" 

"Well I'm gonna make sure you don't have the chance to do it again." he said calmly, reaching into the waist band of his jeans.

Instantly the color drained from her face when she realized that Wade had pulled out a 9mm and she was now staring down the barrel of a gun. Paralized with fear, she shook uncontrolably.

"You know, deep down, I knew I could never live without you." he said , as he unsteadily aimed the gun at her. "I just never thought it would come to this, but if I can't have you.....no one can."

"Wade.........what are you doing?" 

"I can't let you be with someone else. I thought that maybe we could work things out, but obviously I was wrong." 

"Oh god....Wade....please put the gun down." Michelle pleaded, as tears filled her eyes.

"How could you claim to love me and then go fuck Justin the moment I leave town?" he asked Michelle, wiping tears of his own away. "You must think I'm stupid."

Michelle broke down and slumped to the floor in a panic. All the times that signaled she should leave him, flashing before her. Why didn't she listen to her instincts from the beginning.

"Wade, please. You don't want to do this. I love you." 

"I wish I could believe you, but your actions speak louder than words. I love you so much, but this is just how it has to be. I can't trust you anymore." he said, lowering the gun and stepping close to her.

Once he was a few inches from her, he reached up and gently wiped her tears away.

"Baby, please don't cry. I swear you won't feel a thing. It will all be over soon." he said, before leaning in to kiss her one last time. "I'll never forget you."

Taking a few steps back, he unsteadily brought the gun back up and pointed it at her.

"I love you." 

She knew this was the end of it. Hanging her head, she wiped away her tears and silently said a prayer.

Standing there shaking, Wade cocked back the hammer of the gun and aimed it directly at her.

Hearing the sound, Michelle looked up at him. She could tell he didn't want to go through with this by the look on his face. Why wasn't he stopping. 

"Goodbye baby." he whispered, and then squeezed the trigger.

The next thing she knew, she was sitting straight up in bed trembling. The lamp on her nightstand, shattered on the floor beside her bed.

"Ok, breath Michelle." she told herself, quickly scanning the room for any sign of Wade. 

"It was only a dream. It was only a dream. Your fine." she said, laying back down and glancing over at her alarm clock.

This was not how she wanted to start her day. Obviously, the guilt she was feeling about Justin manisfested itself into one hell of a nightmare.

Pulling herself together, she threw the covers off and headed directly to the shower. She wanted to head over to Millennium to check out which studio they were going to use for the tour. She still couldn't believe that Wade had changed locations and not told her about it. Then again, with the relationship over, it didn't make sense for him to give her run of his house. 

Turning on the water, she pulled her shirt over her head and jumped inside. Hoping that when she emerged, the horror of the dream would be forgotten. 

Letting the water run over her, she closed her eyes and wondered if there was ever going to be a time when Wade didn't occupy her thoughts. It seemed regardless of whether she was wide awake or sound asleep, Wade was on her mind. 

After she was finished rinsing her hair, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The hot water had felt good and relaxed her to a point, but unfortunetly, the images were still in her head. Almost as a reminder to herself that she made the right choice leaving him.

As she was opening the door to head back into her bedroom, the phone started to ring. She debated on answering it, but at the last second decided to let her machine get it. Wrapping her hair up in a towel, she sat down on the edge of the bed and listened to see who was calling.

"Hey, I don't know if your home or not.....maybe your just not picking up....I don't know. Anyway, I tried to call you the other night, but I got your machine and I really didn't want to go that route. Looks like my desperation is forcing me to do it now though. I know that right now things don't seem worth saving, but you have to believe me when I say that we can fix this....we can. I just need you to call me. I have my cell phone with me at all times, Im sure you know that though.....so.....um......just please call me. I love you."

Michelle sat there for a second lost in her thoughts. She just couldn't handle this right now. Not after the dream she had. Leaning forward, she erased the message and walked over to her dresser. Maybe later she would give some thought to calling him, but right now she just couldn't do it.

Sighing heavily, she hoped that this was not an indication of what the day had in store for her.

CHAPTER 60

As Michelle headed to the studio, her cell phone started to ring. Reaching over to the passenger seat, she grabbed it and pressed the button. 

"Hello?"

"Hey gir! It's been awhile." Jenna said excitedly on the other end.

"Jenna! Hey , are you finally back in NY?"

"Yeah, I got back in last night. I was going to call you, but I figured you were probably out with loverboy." she teased.

Instantly, Michelle grew silent.

"Hello? You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Michelle said, softly into the phone. She really wanted to talk to Jenna, but now was not the time. She had a ton of things she needed to accomplish, none of which would get done if Wade took front and center in her mind.

"What's up? Don't tell me nothing either. I have known you long enough to know when something is bothering you. Talk."

"Jen, I don't know what the hell is going on any more. I mean....I have no idea who I am, what I'm doing. I just....don't know."

"Whoa..wait a minute. What the hell is going on?! "

"Me and Wade broke up Jen. Things were a mess and just......totally out of control. I couldn't take it anymore." Michelle said, sobbing into the phone.

"Girl, your freaking me out. What happened? Do you want me to come back to LA?"

"No. There isn't any reason to come back. I'm fine. Besides, I'll be busy all this week working on Justin's tour."

"Mich, something is going on that your not telling me. Spill it." Jenna said, knowing damn well that she knew Michelle long enough to know when she wasn't being truthful.

"Jen, things got real bad between us."

"Bad meaning?"

"Meaning things got physcial." she said softly.

"Physical? He hit you?!"

Michelle could feel the tears building up. It was hard enough to admit to herself that she was weak. Now Jenna would know as well.

"Michelle?"

"Yeah...more than once."

"What do you mean more than once. You mean you didn't leave him after he hit you the first time?! What were you thinking!" Jenna said horrified.

"I was thinking I loved him Jen. I mean....he said he was sorry. I thought he just made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes."

Jenna listened to Michelle talk about Wade and she knew there was one question she had to ask. One question that she felt would put alot of things into perspective. Atleast for her anyway.

"You did it didn't you?"

"Did what?" Michelle asked, unsure exactly what Jenna was asking.

"You had sex with him didn't you?"

Michelle grew silent for a second. She had always held to her belief that she would save herself for marriage and Jenna was well aware of her feelings on the subject. The two had even got in an arguement over the topic one night after Jenna had hooked up with someone at a club for a one night stand. Now Jenna would think that she was nothing more than a hypocrite.

"Mich, you did, didn't you? You had sex with him."

After a slight pause, Michelle finally answered her.

"Yeah....I did Jen."

Now it was Jenna's turn to be silent. She wasn't sure what to say. When Michelle admitted the fact that she had sex with Wade, she showed very little emotion. That made it difficult for her to gauge whether Michelle regretted it or not.

"Ok. So....uh....I don't know what to say."

"Me either." 

"Can I ask why you didn't decide to wait until marriage?" 

"You know, it's weird. I always told myself that I would wait. I believed very strongly about that, you know that, but when we were together Jen...it was all I could think about. It was different. He was different."

"What do you mean?"

"From day one I felt this connection with him. This spark that just seemed to grow and intensify every day. It was like I finally found this other half of myself and I really though he was the one. To be honest with you. I was damn sure he was the one."

Jenna listened to her friend talk about Wade and she felt sorry for her. She must have truly loved the guy and saw a future with him, otherwise she would have never gave herself to him. 

"As long as I have known you, you have never talked about any guy like this."

"Exactly. He's not just any guy. Atleast, I thought he wasn't like any other guy."

"Well what the hell happened?"

"I honestly don't know why he changed. I mean...I have an idea of what escalated things, but as for the initial change. I have no idea."

Jenna sighed. She wanted to know exactly what was going on with her best friend, but Michelle wasn't really offering up any details.

"Ok. Well you said that you had an idea of what escalated things. What was it?" Jenna asked.

"Alcohol."

"He's an alcoholic?! Why the hell would you get involved with someone like that?"

"No Jen. He's not an alcoholic. I just think with all the things that he has going on with the tour and all, that he's been under a lot of stress. I think he is trying to use alcohol as a crutch.....to relax him. Except that he doesn't seem to realize or understand that it is having the opposite effect on him." 

"Did you try to tell him that?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"It wasn't received very well." 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come down? I have a few days of vacation time I could use. I think it would actually do both of us some good."

Michelle pulled into the parking lot of MC and parked her car. She really wanted to see Jenna, but she wasn't sure how much free time she would actually have with the tour rehearsals getting under way. 

After giving it some thought, she decided that having Jenna around might be good for her.

Sighing heavily, she she answered Jenna's question.

"Yeah, I would actually love it if you came over. I could really use a friend right now."

"Don't say another word. I'll make some calls after I get off the phone with you and then call you later with my travel plans. Can you pick me up from the airport.?"

"Considering that I have your car...yeah. That won't be a problem." she laughed.

"Ok, well just hang tight. I should be able to be in LA by tomorrow morning."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too."

"Ok Jen, well I'm at MC. I have to go and check out the studio we are going to use for rehearsals so I have to run. I have a few other errands to take care of after this, but then I should be home the rest of the evening."

"Sounds good. Go take care of your business and I'll call you tonight."

"Alright. Oh and Jen......Thanks."

"Not that you need to thank me, but your welcome."

With that, Michelle hung up the phone and threw it in her purse. She was looking forward to spending time with Jenna, even if it was only for a day or two. 

A smile graced her lips as she headed towards the door of Millennium. Just as she was about to reach for the door, her phone rang again. Reaching into her purse, she quickly pulled it out and tried to make out the number on the caller ID through the glare of the sun. Seeing the (212) area code, Michelle laughed and shook her head. It never seemed to fail that Jenna would call back only moments after she hung up. That was classic Jenna. She would always get sidetracked and forgot to say what it was that she called for in the first place.

Pressing the button, she placed it to her ear.

"Hello?" 

"Hey."

Instantly Michelle's heart sank in her chest. She saw the New York area code and immeadiately thought it was Jenna. The fact that it could have been Wade calling from a phone other than his cell in NY never even crossed her mind.

"Michelle?" 

"Yeah?" she answered, fighting back the tears and the urge to just hang up. She wasn't ready to do this. Not yet.

"I'm surprised you answered." Wade said.

"Me too." 

"How are you? I mean......never mind, stupid question. Umm...."

Wade was struggling for words. He knew what he wanted to say to her, but the second he heard her voice, his mind went blank.

"What do you want Wade?" she managed to get out, trying her best not to break down and cry.

"Nothing in particular. I just thought we could talk. I mean...I hoped we could talk."

"What's there to talk about. I think everything has been said that needed to be. Besides, I just can't do this right now. I have things to take care of with the tour and there are calls I have to make and...and........I just......I can't. I can't do this. I have to go."

Pressing the button on her phone, she ended the call and stood there on the verge of tears. It was like her heart was breaking all over again. God, why did she have to love him so much.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, she shoved her phone back inside her purse and headed inside.

Disappointed, Wade sat on the edge of his bed still cluthing the phone. He couldn't believe that she had just ended the call like that. There were so many things he didn't say......things that he needed to say. Now he was left wondering if he would ever get the chance again.