By the time Chantal arrived upstairs, Wade had already laid Michelle down and was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room.

Shaking her head at him, Chantal walked over and sat on the edge of the bed beside Michelle.

"Are you breathing any better?"

Still unable to speak, she slightly nodded her head 'yes'.

"That's good. I'm gonna lay these icepacks on you. They should help bring the swelling down."

Reaching out, Michelle took a hold of Chantal's hand, trying to let her know that she appreciated everything she was doing.

After she was done, she turned and shot Wade a look that, if it was possible, would have killed him on the spot.

"Ok. I'll be back up in a few minutes. I need to talk to Wade" she said, as she squeezed Michelle's hand and stood up.

As Chantal walked toward the door, Wade stood up and followed after her, not making eye contact with Michelle even for a second.

The two were silent ,as they headed down the stairs and into the livingroom.

Continuing her momentum, Chantal walked toward the kitchen and Wade plopped himself down on the sofa.

Hearing him sigh as he sat down, she quickly turned around and began to tear into him.

"Ok. Please tell me what the hell is going on, and I don't want some half-ass story either Wade!"

Leaning forward, he placed his head in his hands and remained silent.

He wasn't sure what was happening himself.

How was he susposed to explain it to her.

"Wade!" Chantal called out

"What?" he asked, looking up to see the look of anger and disapointment on her face.

"You know what! What the hell is going on?!"

"Chantal, I honestly don't know."

"How can you not know? Please tell me that." she said, as his reluctance to divuldge any information was quickly growing old.

Glancing over at the empty liquor bottle on the floor where she was laying, he got up and went over to pick it up.

Chantal watched him curiously, as he studied the bottle before tossing it in the garbage.

Without saying a word, he walked past his sister and out onto the balcony.

"Wade, please tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, I'll help you." she said, as she walked out to join him.

"I'm losing it Chantal. I really am. I'm losing control of what's going on....I'm losing my mind and I'm about to lose Michelle."

"We can fix this. Just tell me what is going on. Why did you do that to her?"

"It's such a long story. I don't even know where to begin. God help me, but this isn't the first time I have done shit like this to her."

"Oh my god Wade.....please tell me you aren't serious." Chantal said, as she felt her heart sink in her chest.

"I wish I could say it wasn't true....but.... it is." he said, as he sat down on one of the chairs.

"Why? Why are you doing this to her. What could she have possibly done to make you want to hurt her?" she asked, growing upset.

"That's just it. She really hasn't done anything. It's my fault. I'm responsible."

"What do you mean?" she asked, as she took a seat next to him.

"She told me I acted different, and I didn't listen."

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm talking to myself. Look, I need to get out of here for awhile. Can you keep an eye on her until I get back?"

"Where are you going?" Chantal asked, as she watched her brother get up and walk back into the house.

"I just need to think and I can't do it here. Can you?"

"Yeah...I can, but this isn't the end of this discussion Wade. I want to know what's going on and your going to tell me."

With those final words said, Wade grabbed Michelle's keys and walked out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chantal had been upstairs a few times to check on Michelle while Wade was gone.

She wanted to try and see what information she could get from Michelle, but given the condition she was in, she decided against it.

Wade would have to be home soon and she would find out from him.

There was no way she was leaving until she knew the whole story.

Finally after almost three hours, he arrived back home.

"Jesus christ Wade. Where did you go?"

"I need help Chantal. You have to help me get through this." Wade said, as he sat down on the sofa and broke down.

The next few hours, Wade proceeded to tell Chantal everthing.

Everything from the moment he first met her at the club to the events that unfolded earlier today.

In shock, Chantal sat there and tried to take it all in.

She just couldn't believe everything that happened in such a short period of time, but as the information slowly came out, it was easy to piece together the problem.

Whether he was ready to admit it or not, Wade had developed a drinking problem.

He tried to convince himself that drinking relaxed him and helped him to deal with everything that was going on.

It was understandable that he was under a large amount of stress, but obviously that choice was only adding to his stress.

Alcohol had brought out the worst in him and he had finally accepted the fact that he needed help.

He was ready to take the first step to overcome his addiction, if not for himself.....for Michelle.

He knew she deserved so much better and he couldn't help but wonder why she was still around.

Then almost as if he flashed back in time, he recalled telling her that she belonged to him and that he would never let her leave.

Now on top of everything else that was going on, he had to face the fact that he may have already lost her.

Without any threats to keep her by his side, she would finally have the opportunity to move on with her life and find someone who would love her the way she needed to be loved.

"Wade, I asked you a question." Chantal said, breaking him from his train of thought.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" he said, as he leaned back heavily into the sofa.

"Are you going to go see someone before you leave town?"

"Yeah, I'll call first thing tomorrow morning and see what I can arrange."

"Good. You know your making the right decision, don't you?"

"Yeah....I do. I think this should have been done along time ago."

"Are you going to talk to Michelle about this?" Chantal asked, as she turned sideways to face her brother. 

"No. I think it would be best to just do this on my own. She doesn't need to deal with anything else, especially now."

"Do you really think that's the best choice. I think you should tell her."

"I can't. I don't want her to be involved in this. I need to do this on my own."

"Well, I'm here for you if you need anything. I know you can do this." Chantal said, as she placed her hand over his.

"I just hope it isn't too late." Wade said, as he glanced over toward the stairs.

"Are you two going to be ok here or do you want me to stay?"

"I'm not going to hurt her if that's what you mean." Wade said, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"As long as she's ok with staying here, we'll be fine."

"I'm going to go up and check on her before I leave. I'll make sure she's ok staying here. If not, I'll change my plans and stick around, if that's ok with you."

"That's fine. Whatever she wants." Wade said, as walked into the kitchen.

Opening up his liquor cabinet, he grabbed the bottles out and placed them on the counter.

"Can you take these with you when you leave?"

"Absolutely." she replied and then proceeded to walk towards the stairs.

"Are you coming up?

Letting out a heavy sigh, he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"No. Go ahead. I'm just not ready yet."

"Wade, you can't leave her up there alone all night. You need to get it together."

Dropping his head back, he glanced up at the ceiling.

"You can do this. You can do this." he said to himself, as he walked to join his sister at the bottom of the stairs.

"You'll be fine. Now c'mon."

Following his sister, he walked up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Taking his stance in the doorway, he rested his chin on his hand and watched as Michelle looked up at Chantal.

"Hey, how are you doing?" 

"Ok." she managed to say softly.

"Good, but don't try to talk just yet. Give it some time."

Michelle nodded her head in agreement and looked up at Wade.

Immeadiately, he turned and looked away.

He couldn't stand to look her in the eyes and know he was responsible for the pain she was in.

"Are you going to be ok here with him if I leave?" 

Feeling her gaze still on him, Wade shut his eyes momentarily before turning back to look at her.

Seeing the hurt in his eyes, she nodded her head 'yes'.

"Are you sure, because if not I can stay."

Reaching down, she took a hold of Chantal's hand and shook her head 'no'.

"I'm.........fine." she said, this time even softer. 

Shaking her head, Chantal turned to look at Wade.

"Ok, I'm taking off then. I'll stop by tomorrow to see how things are going."

"Thanks. I'll walk you out." Wade said, as he turned and walked out the door.

"Wade, pull yourself together. This isn't helping her." Chantal said, as they walked down the stairs.

"I know." 

"You can't avoid her." Chantal said, as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed the liquor bottles off the counter.

"I'm not going to avoid her. It's just.....hard."

"I know, but you don't have a choice. Look, I have to run, but I'll be by tomorrow."

"Ok. Thanks for your help sis."

"Don't mention it. Just get yourself back on track."

"I will....trust me." Wade said, as he opened the front door for her.

"Night bro. Take care of her.....and yourself."

"I will."

Once she backed out of the driveway, he shut the door and glanced over to the stairs.

"You have to do this. Don't let her down again." he said to himself, before taking a deep breath and heading upstairs.

CHAPTER 42

As he slowly walked back up the stairs, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

He tried taking deep breaths to calm himself, but it was only making things worse.

He dreaded walking back in there alone and facing her.

There were so many things he wanted to say to her.

So many things he needed to make right, but he just couldn't do it. Not yet.

He wasn't ready.

Shaking his head, he turned around and walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Stressed out, he immeadiately walked into the kitchen and over to his liquor cabinet.

When he was one step away from the cabinet, he remembered giving the bottles of liquor to Chantal.

"Get it together Wade. It's only been 5 minutes and your already losing it." he said to himself, as he walked into the livingroom.

Pacing back and forth, he stared at the stairs knowing what he had to do.

"You need to go up there. Stop stalling and be a fuckin man for once in your life. Take some responsibility."

Dropping his hands to his sides, he shook them out repeatedly.

"Ok, I can do this."

After a brief pause, he pulled himself together and headed back up the stairs.

He was a nervous wreck and he couldn't help but wonder how she must have felt all those times he had hurt her.

The fear she felt when he yelled and lashed out at her.

The pain she felt when he hit and abused her.

The hurt she must have felt thinking he didn't love her the way she loved him.

Letting out one last deep breath, he walked down the hall and into his room.

His heart was beating so loud that he swore she had to of heard it.

He stood there speechless and stared at her battered body, knowing he was responsible for every mark on her.

Fighting back tears, he said the only thing that came to mind.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." he said, as he moved closer to the bed.

A single tear fell down her cheek and then she turned and looked away.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to fight back the intense feeling that someone had just stuck a knife deep in his heart.

"God Michelle, please look at me." he said, as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

Placing her hand over her eyes, she started crying.

She just couldn't take it anymore.

She had loved him with every ounce of herself and it just never seemed to be enough.

She would never be the girl he wanted and she was tired of trying.

Tired of living a lie.

He didn't love her....she had to know that now.

She had to face the reality that she was nothing more than another notch on his belt.

To think that he was her first only made things worse.

She thought with all her heart that he was the one.

From the first time they danced, she felt something.

Something unexplainable, but obviously what she felt was wrong.

"Baby, look at me." he said, as he walked around to the other side of the bed.

Leaving her hands in place, she shook her head 'no' and turned away yet again.

His eyes were fixated on the marks now adorning her neck and he just couldn't understand how he had got to that point.

He had basically came within seconds of ending her life and that scared him to death.

Now right before his eyes, he watched her completely withdraw from him and it tore him up inside.

"I don't want to go, but if you want me to leave I will. Is that what you want?" he asked, as walked back around to the other side of the bed.

Softly through her muffled cries, she told him 'yes'.

Pulling one of his hands out of his pocket, he ran his fingers through his hair and then walked out.

It was out of his hands.

There was nothing more he could do except wait for her to make the move.

A position he wasn't used to being in, but nonetheless he was there.

It was now all up to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few hours he stayed downstairs and tried to immerse himself in his work.

It was the only thing he had left to try and keep his mind off of her.

Unfortunetly, it only worked for awhile.

He needed to put some distance between them in order to give her a chance to heal both physcially and emotionally.

Grabbing the phone, he called his assistant and informed her that he would need different travel arrangements for the video shoot.

He thought it would be in the best interest of both of them if he left as soon as possible.

He couldn't take being around her and she undoubtedly felt the same after what he put her through.

After some thirty minutes, his assistant called him back and informed him that they were able to change his schedule.

Instead of leaving friday afternoon, he would be leaving first thing tomorrow morning on a flight headed to NY.

Recalling that Chantal was susposed to stop over tomorrow to check up on them, he knew he needed to call her and tell her what was going on.

Dialing the number to her cell phone, it rang three times and then she picked it up.

"Hey Wade. Is everything ok?"

"Was that a serious question?" he asked, sarcastically.

"What's going on?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving for NY first thing tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow? I thought you weren't leaving until friday?"

"I know. I just need to get out of here for awhile so I changed flights."

"What about Michelle? You can't just leave her there alone."

"The last thing she needs is me around. She won't even look at me. What do I possibly have to offer her right now?" he asked.

"What about calling tomorrow to get some help? Are you not going to do that now?"

"I'll call when I get back. I seriously can't stay here another day. You know, I already headed to the god damn liquor cabinet Chantal and it was only five minutes after you left! What the fuck is wrong with me!"

"You need help. You know that and you need to do something about it now, before it's too late."

"I can try and see if someone will see me today, but I highly doubt that's a possibility."

"You would be surprised. Make some calls and I'll touch base with you later on this evening."

"I'll do my best."

"Good. Do you want me to stop by and check on her tomorrow?"

"I'd appreciate it sis. Thanks."

"No problem. You know, things will get better Wade."

"I'd like to believe that, but honestly, all I want is to keep her in my life and I don't think that is a possibility anymore."

"You know, you said this wasn't the first time you hurt her and yet she's still there. Either she isn't as smart as I thought she was or she loves you more than you know."

Wade was silent as Chantal's words echoed through his head.

God, he hoped that she still loved him.

He was going to make things right with her, all she needed to do was give him a chance.

"Wade, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. Sorry. Look...... I'm going to go."

"Ok. Remember if you need anything, I'm here." Chantal said, sympathetically

"I know. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok. Bye." 

Wade sat the phone down on his desk and leaned back in his chair.

He had already packed for his trip to NY, but now that he was staying a few extra days, he needed to do some more packing.

Pushing himself out of his chair, he turned the lights off in his office and walked down the hall.

As he walked up the stairs to his bedroom, he caught sight of Michelle curled up in the corner of the sofa.

He stopped and debated on whether he should go and try to talk to her, but deep down he knew that if she wanted to talk to him, she would have come and found him.

Unfortunetly, that just wasn't the case.

She made no attempt to try and find him and that alone spoke for itself.

She didn't want anything to do with him.....atleast not now.

Slowly, he continued to walk up the stairs to finish his packing.

He had vowed to himself that his trip to NY would be a new beginning for him.

In a matter of hours, he would be on a flight headed for NY and hopefully she would be able to start healing.

He just hoped that when he got back, they could work on putting the past behind them and move forward......together.

CHAPTER 43

Wade was packing the last of his things in his bag, when Michelle walked up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"I thought you were already packed?" she asked him, her voice still soft and weak.

Startled, he spun around and saw her standing in the doorway.

"Yeah. I was packed but I decided to leave for NY tomorrow instead of friday so I needed a few more things. Besides, I think it's for the best." he said, as he zipped his bag and tossed it on the chair.

"When are you coming back?" she asked, as she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ten days from now."

"You know, I just wanted you to know that I loved you. I mean really loved you. I thought you were the one." she said, as tears formed in her eyes.

Confused, he stood there and watch her nervously play with her watch band.

"Loved? As in once before, but no longer?"

She was speechless

As much as she wanted to tell him that was the case, deep down she knew it wasn't.

She would at some level always love him.

He had captured a part of her that she couldn't deny no matter how hard she tried.

"Are you telling me this is over? That there isn't a chance for us anymore?"

"I know now that you never felt the same way about me as I felt about you."

"God, you are so wrong. I have never felt anything like what I feel for you." he said, as he walked toward her. 

"I think that's part of the problem. I'm so scared that I'm going to wake up one day and you'll be gone. I have been going out of my mind trying to keep you by my side and all I did was hurt you and push you away, but you have to believe me when I say I do love you."

As much as she wanted to believe him, she couldn't.

She had followed her heart one too many times and it never turned out to be the right choice.

Now, she would have to listen to what her brain had been telling her since the first time he laid a hand on her....end the relationship.

"You say you love me and I may be slightly naive but I know love shouldn't feel like this." she said, as she began to cry. 

"Look, I know I have no right asking you to do anything for me, but please don't make any decisions until I get back."

"I don't understand what difference it will make."

"Michelle please." he said, as he knelt down in front of her.

She hated herself for allowing him to have captured a part of her heart.

A part that no matter how many times her hurt her still held out hope that he would change.

"I can't guarantee anything Wade. I just can't." she said.

"I understand, but please just give me until I get back. If things are going to end, I don't want them ending like this. That's all I am asking."

Torn apart by the look of sadness in his eyes, she again let him get the best of her.

"Fine. I'll wait until you get back."

Thankful that she was giving him an opportunity to turn his life around, he stood up and leaned forward to gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you. That's all I wanted." he said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day, the two had minimal contact with each other.

Wade had spent most of the time in his office gathering up the rest of the paperwork that needed attended to and figuring out the first step to turning his life around.

Slightly leary of the whole "AA" thing, he opted to call his regular doctor and get a perscription for something that would help him deal with his stress and anxiety.

That after all, was the main reason he turned to alcohol in the first place.

If he had other means to deal with his stress, the rest should surely fall into place.

More than once he thought of talking to Michelle about what was going on with him, but every time he decided against it.

"Wade, the last thing she needs is you laying your problems on her." he said to himself, as he gathered up his things and headed out the door.

As he walked into the livingroom, the irony of his comment sunk in. 

"How pathetic was that! I forced her to deal with my problems everytime I laid my hands on her." he said to himself, as he tossed the papers onto the table.

Just saying that statement out loud instantly brought a realism to it all.

Almost as if he never truly accepted it before, but it was out there now and it was a reality.

He had a problem and because of him, she endured an immeasurable amount of suffering that no one should ever have to go through.

Yet she did, over and over again.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to force that reality far from his mind.

Unfortunetly, without the presence of alcohol to drowned out his thoughts, the horrible memories quickly began to flood his mind.

Memories of the torture and torment he put her through, time and time again. 

Memories of the countless times she cried because of pain he inflicted on her.

Again he tried to shake the thoughts as he walked out on the balcony hoping the fresh air would do him some good.

Unfortunelty, that too was useless.

The terrified sound of her voice slowly began to echo in his mind, as he recalled the numerous times she begged him to stop.

It was like a sensory overload of everything he had ever done to her and he couldn't handle it.

Knowing he was on the verge of losing his mind, he grabbed Michelle's keys and without telling her he was leaving, he walked out the door.

He drove around Los Angeles for a good twenty minutes before he found himself in the parking lot of a nearby liquor store.

Staring at the door, he knew it was the last place he needed to be, but he also knew that it was the one place that could free him from the haunting images now embeded in his mind.

He needed to escape the prison that those memories now held him in.

Until he was free from those images, he couldn't go back home and look at her.

Only after a brief hesitation, he opened the car door and headed inside.

After a few minutes, he exited the store and headed back to her car carrying a brown paper bag.

As he sat in the parking lot, he stared at the bottle laying next to him on the passenger seat.

It was now a matter of will power.

Deep within himself, a battle began for control of what was going to happen next.

His heart told him to throw the bottle out and return home to be by her side, but the powerful images lingering in his head refused to let that happen.

They demanded to be dealt with and the only way he knew how to was to drink them away.

Finally giving in, he grabbed the bottle and twisted off the cap.

Immeadiately, he gulped down several mouthfuls before placing the cap back on and starting the car.

He knew it would only be a matter of time before he was numb to the feelings the images forced him to feel.

As he drove away, he grabbed the bottle and continued to consume the contents.

Every mouthful he took slowly faded away the images in his mind until they no longer existed.

Finally..... he was free.

Free from having to deal with the pain he knew he caused her.

Pain.

Pain, he had caused her....... by drinking.

Almost instantaneously, the reality of what he had just done hit him.

He was susposed to get his life together and stop the dependency he had developed with alcohol.

Yet here he was with his trusty liquor bottle by his side.

Furious with himself, he pulled the car over to the side of the road and got out, slamming the door behind him.

Opening the passenger side door, he grabbed the bottle off the seat and letting out a scream, he threw it as far as he could.

In tears, he walked back around the front of the car and slowly got inside.

Never in his life had he felt so out of control......so helplesss.

Resting his head against the steering wheel, he prayed that he would somehow find the strength to conquer his obvious addiction once and for all.

CHAPTER 44

As Wade sat in his car, he realized there was absolutely no way he could go home now.

He knew that with his track record, something could go terribly wrong and he would never forgive himself if he let that happen.

He would have to stay gone until he was certain that every trace of alcohol was out of his system.

That was the only way he could guarantee that she would be safe.

Problem was, he didn't know exactly where that was.

As he pulled back onto the road, he racked his brain on where he could go.

He thought of going to Chantal's apartment, but if she saw he had been drinking, it would be all over for him.

That much, he was certain.

As he continued to think of where he could go, the sight of Michelle's keys dangling from the ignition caught his eye.

"Perfect." he said to himself.

After a quick change of direction, he headed towards Michelle's place.

As Wade pulled up to her apartment, the effects from consuming such a large amount of liquor in such a short time were starting to take hold.

Parking her car out front, he made his way up the stairs and to the front door of her apartment, but barely.

All he wanted to do was go inside and lay down.

To just let the effects of the alcohol wear off so that he could go back home.

He didn't want her to ever have to see him like that again.

Fumbling with her keys, he finally found the right one and let himself inside.

As he flicked on the light, he instantly got hit with a flashback from the last time they had been there.

Trying not to deal with anything other than sobering up, he turned the light back off and made his way over to the sofa.

Alone, he sat in the dark with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. 

Thoughts that one day, things would be like they were before.

Where she would never have to worry that he would hurt her.

Back to the way things were when she longed to be near him and in his arms.

He wanted that more than anything.

Shutting his eyes, he let those thoughts comfort him and he slowly drifted off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having been out cold for over an hour, he finally awoke to the sound of knocking on the door.

Momentarily confused by his surroundings, he turned on the lights and tried to pull himself together.

Shaking his head, he staggered his way over to the door, knocking his cell phone to the floor in the process.

He couldn't remember a time that he had felt this drunk.

He hadn't even had that much to drink, but he was thankful he had enough presence of mind to not go home.

There was no telling what could have happened if he did.

Finally managing to unlock the door, he pulled it open and was shocked at who was standing on the other side.

"Where's Michelle? I saw her car out front so don't tell me she isn't here." Marty said, as he stood there with his arms crossed.

"Man, she isn't here and I'm not going to deal with you right now." Wade said, as he attempted to shut the door.

"Whoa...wait a minute. I don't think you have a choice." Marty said, as he put his foot in the door to block Wade from closing it.

"Why would you be here and she wouldn't? That just doesn't make much sense now, does it? I mean, this is her apartment."

Wade was having a hard enough time just standing up straight, let alone be in any shape or mood to deal with Marty.

"Look, I said she isn't here and she isn't. Now get the fuck out of here! I'm not going to tell you again."

Marty laughed, as Wade tried to keep his balance.

"You know, I don't really think you are in any shape to make threats Wade."

"Man, fuck you! What don't you understand! I told you she isn't here!" Wade said, growing completely annoyed.

"We'll see." Marty said, as he shoved the door open and forced his way past Wade.

That was the last straw.

Wade had enough.

Grabbing onto Marty's shoulder, he pulled him back and spun him around.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!"

"What does it look like I am doing. I'm looking for Michelle. You don't actually think I believe she isn't here, do you?"

"You know, I should have known from the beginning that you had a thing for her, you fucking prick."

"What the hell is that susposed to mean?"

"You came over here hoping to hook up with her, didn't you? You though she would be here....alone."

"You would like to think something like that, wouldn't you? Then it would be easier for you to hit her, huh?"

"You know, I don't need a reason to hit her." Wade said, matter of factly.

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he about died.

He couldn't belive he had actually just said that.

What the hell was he thinking.

"Oh really? Isn't this how you like to do it. Hit people when they can't defend themselves?" Marty asked.

Appaulled, Marty looked Wade square in the eyes and punched him in the face as hard as he could.

Instantly, Wade went down.

"Your fuckin dead!" Wade said, as he struggled to get back to his feet.

Wade was always known for being able to go the distance in a fight, but when he was drunk it was a different story.

Now he was about to feel what it was like to be on the other end.

As Wade finally made it back to his feet Marty stood there and stared him down.

"Go ahead, take your best shot!" 

Not wasting a second or the opportunity, Wade swung at Marty.

Loving every second of what he was going to do, Marty ducked out of the way and again hit Wade, knocking him to the floor.

"C'mon Wade, get up and fight! Pretend I'm Michelle. We both know how much you love to hit her."

Wade quickly stood up and lunged at Marty.

Just hearing him say her name set him off.

As Marty fell backwards, Wade jumped on top of him.

Wade managed to get in a few punches, but Marty quickly shoved him off and resumed the upper hand.

Looking around, Marty now felt confident that Michelle wasn't in the apartment.

If she had been, she would have surely come out to find out what the commotion was.

And since she wasn't, it was just a matter of finishing Wade off.

There was no way in hell he was going to miss this opportunity to put Wade in his place.

"This is for every fuckin time you hurt her!" Marty said, kicking Wade in the ribs as he tried to get to his feet.

"I swear to god, if you ever touch her again, you won't live to see another day."

Wade clutched his ribs as he tried to pull himself up, but Marty wasn't going to let up and again he kicked him as hard as he could, knocking him back down to the floor.

Marty wasn't the violent type by any means, but he also felt that Wade had it coming.

In his book, it was never ok to hit a woman.

If you did, there was a price to pay. 

Marty was determined to make sure that Wade paid that price.

Buckled over in pain, Wade tried to crawl his way over to the sofa.

Marty stood there and watched, as Wade fought with everything he had to get up.

It was obvious that he had done a number on Wade, but at the same time he didn't feel bad about it.

He couldn't.

He knew that Wade didn't show any compassion or remorse when he hit Michelle and he wasn't about to either.

"Do yousrelf a favor Wade and stay down, because everytime I look at you, I remember what you did to her."

Wade continued to try and pull himself up, completely unaware of Marty's warning.

Mentally, he had blocked out everything around him but the pain that was coursing through his body.

When Wade reached the sofa, he reached up and tried to pull himself up but again Marty countered with one last kick and Wade was down.

This time for good.

Marty stood next to Wade and listened as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Not so tough anymore, are you?"

"Remember this the next time you think of laying a hand on her."

Stepping over his body, Marty spotted Wade's cell phone on the floor by the end table. 

"You know, you don't look so good. Maybe you should call someone." he snickered, as he kicked the phone at him.

Only slightly flinching from the force of the cell phone hitting his side, Wade continued to remain relative still on the floor.

"See you around asshole." Marty said and he walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

CHAPTER 45

As Wade laid in pain on the floor, he couldn't help but realize that this is what he had been doing to Michelle all this time.

He recalled not that long ago that he had went off on a rage and did the exact same thing.

They were at Justin's party when he had that first confrontation with Marty.

She had managed to get the upper hand when she got out of his truck, but he knew he would meet up with her later.

And he did at her apartment.

It was that night that he had hurt her.......bad.

He even remembered kicking her as Marty had just done him only moments ago.

God, he hated himself.

How he could do that to her was beyond him.

He loved her.

He never felt like this about any other girl and he couldn't help but think that she had to be "the one".

Finally managing to sit up, he grabbed his cell phone and scooted back against the sofa.

He wanted to go home.

He knew he still wasn't completely sober and he didn't want to risk wrecking Michelle's car, so he decided to call Chantal.

The lectures and now twenty questions from her on what the hell happened to him aside.

He didn't want to wait another second to tell Michelle everything he was feeling.

He would make things right again......he had to

If she walked out of his life, he would never forgive himself.

It was a thought he didn't want to think about.

Whatever he needed to do to make it up to her, he would.

Turning his phone on, he dialed the number to Chantal's apartment.

After a few rings, her answering machine picked up.

He thought of leaving a message but decided it would be better to try and reach her on her cell phone.

She always had it with her when she went out, so that was a safe bet.

Ending the call, he dialed the number to her cell phone.

Finally after several rings, she picked it up.

"Hey you. What's up?" Chantal said, laughing.

"Where are you at?" he asked, noticing all the noise in the background.

"A club. Me and a few friends decided we needed a girls night out."

"Oh." he said, realizing that Chantal was probably no better off than he was.

"Why, what's up?"

"Have you been drinking for awhile?" he asked, thinking that they may have just gotten there.

"Yeah I have." she chuckled. "Is it that obvious?" 

"Sorta."

"That reminds me. Hold on."

In the background, he heard her yelling to someone to get her another drink and he knew that he was on his own.

"Well, you still haven't told me why you called. Is everything ok with Michelle?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Look, it wasn't important. I'll talk to you tomorrow before I leave."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah.......I'm...sure." he struggled to say, as he wrapped his arm around his ribs and stood up.

"What's wrong with you? Are you sure everything is alright? Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm not home anyway." he said, as he staggered over to the sofa to grab his keys.

"Your not? Where are you?" she asked, shocked that he wasn't at home keeping an eye on Michelle.

"Out."

"Wade, don't give me those short half ass answers. You know how much I hate those." 

"Look, I went for a ride. I just needed to clear my head."

"When are you going back home? You know you shouldn't have left her there alone."

"I know. I'm heading back now. Go have fun and I'll catch you tomorrow."

She hated it when he took control of the conversation.

He always did it too.

Ever since they were kids.

"Fine, but you know how to reach me if you need anything."

"I know. I'll talk to you later."

Ending the call with Chantal, he shoved his phone into his pocket and slowly made his way to the door.

He would have to get himself home, that's all there was to it.

As he made his way down the stairs to her car, the pain slowly started to fade.

He wasn't sure if the pain was actually subsiding or if it just seemed that way.

Either way, he didn't care.

He was just happy to be able to move.

Carefully, he grabbed his side and lowered himself into her car.

Shutting the door, he started the car and headed back home to be by her side.

A place he realized tonight that he wanted to be for the rest of his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noticing that Wade had become rather quiet, Michelle made her way downstairs to check things out.

She wasn't sure why she even cared what the hell he was doing, but she did.

The only way she could explain it, was to chock it up to one of those crazy things love made you do.

As much as she tried to hate him, to despise him for everything he had done to her and put her through....she couldn't.

She knew it wasn't healthy, but she didn't know how to stop loving him either.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she noticed that everything was quiet.....a little too quiet.

"Wade?" she called, as she headed down the hall to the studio, but quickly she noticed that everything was dark.

He wasn't there.

Walking over to the front window, she noticed that her car was gone.

"Why didn't he tell me he was leaving? Where the hell did he go?" 

Walking into the kitchen, she grabbed the phone of the counter and dialed the number to his cell.

After a few rings, it kicked into his voicemail.

That alone, surprised her and caught her completely off guard.

If he was on the other line, he would have clicked over.

The only way it would kick into voicemail, is if he had turned his phone off.

Something she had never seen him do.......ever.

Immeadiately, she began to panic.

Something wasn't right, she could feel it.

Walking down the hall to his office, she wondered if he kept personal numbers in his address book on his desk.

She knew her best bet would be to try and call Chantal and see if she had heard from him.

If anyone had, it would be her.

Flicking on the light, she sat down in his chair and quickly began to scan through his book looking for her number.

After about five minutes, she realized that just about every contact in there was business related.

Without anyone she could call and no car to head out to look for him, she was forced to wait it out and hope that everything was ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Wade made his way back home, he couldn't help but feel nervous about laying it all on the line for her.

If he told her he was going to get help and that he loved her more than anything.....would it make a difference?

Would she think twice about leaving him?

She said she wouldn't make a decision until he returned from NY, but he also knew that was more than likely a technicality.

A common courtesy so to speak, so that when she did in fact end things between them, there would be closure.

Because deep down, he felt that her decision had already been made.

He just wanted to and get that extra time to try and change her mind.

As he pulled into the driveway, he looked up and saw the soft glow of the TV in the window and was thankful that she was still awake.

Walking up to the front door, his nerves started to get the best of him.

Could he actually go in there and tell her what was going on or would he cop out at the last second.

The only way to know was to walk through that front door and find out.

Unlocking the door, he slowly opened it and walked inside.

There she was, curled up with a blanket in the corner of the sofa sound asleep.

Quietly, he shut the door behind him and stood there for a second just looking at her.

"I'll fix this, I promise you." he said softly and then headed towards her.

As he moved closer, he saw that both phones were sitting beside her.

He wasn't quiet sure what the deal was with that at first and then he remembered that he didn't even tell her he was leaving.

She must have been worried and either tried to call him or was waiting for him to call.

He had done something to her without even realizing it and guilt instantly washed over him.

No matter what it was, he just always did the wrong thing.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he sat it down on the table along with his keys.

He wanted to wake her up and tell her everything, but just by looking at her he knew she was exhausted.

He knew what she needed was rest and he was determined to do the right thing.

Pulling the blanket down, he bent over and scooped her up in his arms.

"Wade?"

"Yeah. It's me."

"Where we....." she started to say, but he cut her off.

"Shhhhh. We'll talk tomorrow. You need to get some sleep."

Knowing that he was right, she wrapped her arm around his neck and laid her head back down against his chest.

Toughing out the pain that ripped through him, he carried Michelle upstairs to his bedroom.

Once inside, he gently laid her down on the bed and covered her up.

She was so helpless and innocent.

So undeserving of everthing he put her though and he couldn't help but feel selfish for wanting her to stay with him.

She deserved so much better, but he also knew he could give her what she needed if given another opportunity.

Sighing heavily, he placed a kiss on her forehead and then walked out the door.

A few minutes later, he came back into the room and crawled into bed beside her.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her close to him.

Just the feel of her beside him was amazing.

The warmth of her body, the sweet smell of her perfume.....all of it completely intoxicating. 

Burrowing his face against the back of her neck, he softly whispered 'I love you' to her and then closed his eyes and fell asleep.